A Fool ;

I'm actually taking a long time to pen down these thoughts.
I don't know what to say, or how to say it.
Well, I've got much to say yet little that can be expressed.
I'm a fool.

I wondered about stuffs.
Matters that no one else can lend a helping hand.
Issues that I want no listening ears.
I need, perhaps want, time alone.
That, I realised.
& nothing seems to be making me feel better.

I want to cry.
I want to scream.
I want to stone.
I wanted it all alone.
& it has been long since I've felt it this way.

I can't comprehend.
I can't accept.
I can't tell you how much it actually hurts.
So why did you even say that you couldn't be bothered?
I just can't, treat it as if it's nothing.

I tried to be happy.
I tried to force a smile.
But I can't.
Not when I feel neglected.
Not when I'm told, you're too tired to care.
Your care & concern is all it takes to put a smile across my face.
But why do I feel that you've robbed me even of that previlege?
For all I know, I ended up quieter than I usually am.

Today I sat alone.
Vivo skypark;
Makis;
Storybook;
Mr. Wind.
All that was enough to feel accompanied.
I missed you so much.
But I chose to read & not think.

Right now,
I chose to cry without you knowing.
Not that I didn't try though.
But once again I was reminded of.
That I'm a disrupt to your beauty sleep.

Rights, I'll be back to me after all these.
At least I'll try for myself.
:)